Jamie Ayres is holding an awesome first page critique contest. This is what she has to say:
If you’d like to participate, then please email me at email@example.com by 5pm tomorrow & post the first page of your manuscript on YOUR blog. I will compile a list of the participating blogs and post them here tomorrow. That way, everyone can hop around and post constructive feedback on each others first page. I will randomly draw five names to receive a personal critique from Heather (Burch). I’ll announce those winners tomorrow on my blog and then contact you with instructions. Also, I will personally visit everyone’s blog to comment and will keep a tally on who is leaving the most helpful comments for others:) That person’s reward will be a mailed copy of Heather’s book (Halflings) *can I get a woot, woot* I’ll announce that winner on my regular blog next Wednesday.
Here’s my entry (first page) from my new YA Dark Fantasy manuscript.
They come to me in a rush. Some days it’s silent in my head, and I cherish those quiet moments. Other days, the voices drum through my skull. Loud and piercing. I suspect I might end up in a loony bin since I have no idea why this happens, and I’m barely hanging onto my sanity. But the one thing I know for certain is that whoever’s name I hear has only a few hours left to live.
It’s been this way my entire life. Though yesterday I saved a life. Ben Wong’s. And this means I can stop people from dying. Laughter bubbles in my throat at the awesomeness of my discovery.
Students cram the corridors of Hills High and shove past me. This school rotates on an axis of perpetual bogus tales. Some stories spin so out of control they spit flames at anyone passing by, no wonder cracks embellish the walls. I’ve accepted this. After all, my BFF is the queen of gab. Though today, the school seems to be spitting flames in my direction. People steal hungry peeks over their shoulders, whispering in each other’s ears as I pass. Dozens of faces stare and wait for me to do something. But what? Has someone added crazy powder to the water? I swallow hard, tuck my head low, and walk faster.
Nothing can ruin the day because I saved Ben, plus it’s my birthday. My smile returns.
A junior girl bumps my arm. “Witch.” She hisses.
What have I done to her? I’ve only seen this girl a few times in the cafeteria. I bite my tongue and frown. A senior jock glares my way like I murdered his dog. I narrow my eyes for effect, though I’m not sure what’s going on.
Perhaps I missed the note saying, ‘Let’s weird Leev out’. Perhaps it’s a prank. Perhaps I’m still home in bed and this is one of those dreams where my clothes suddenly disappear. I hope not.